Dreams, or, WTF?!

So last night my dreams were rather vivid.  Three parts:

1.  I got a snake.  The snake bit me nine times on the chest.  I got a new snake who had no fangs.  The new snake just sucked really angrily on you.  Later when I checked out my snake bites in the mirror, they’d become giant zits that released puffs of air when you popped them…then gushed blue Head & Shoulders shampoo.  I said to myself, ‘I’d better Google these symptoms to see if I should go to a hospital.’

2.  I was leader of a military expedition, and this one fine soldier was begging me to be included.  Later that night that soldier turned into a shark (Or rather, had always been one for the purposes of the dream-plot) and was ripped along the belly by a hammerhead.  I immobilized the hammerhead with a body-hug while another soldier poked out its eyes.  Then soldier-shark recovered and ate the hammerhead.  The end.

3.  I ended up in a rest area bathroom off the highway.  Each stall had a different and ridiculous toilet, like one with a bowl five feet long or a toilet with seven lids, each smaller than the one below it.  It was very frustrating. 

Yet Another Spider Story

Soltris and I were on his couch last night. I was watching poor Animal Planet programming and he was sleeping. Backlit by the TV so I finally noticed it, a spider rappelled down from the ceiling…right towards poor Soltris’s face.

Anima: Eeeeee, dragon, dragon! Spider, spider heading right for your face! *taps dragon-skull repeatedly*

Soltris: Zzzzzzz

Anima: Dragon!!! It’s landing on your face! IT’S ON YOUR FACE! *blows on spider*

Spider: WTF? This isn’t the party. *reascends*

Anima: …Dragon, there was a spider on your face.

Soltris: *clearly not awake at all* Sweeeeet.